Goodreads Doesn't Have It, Data Migration: Pixel Flesh
This book is truly pathetic. It's pathetic in the same way I Survived Capitalism is pathetic. It's a GMO of the female victim of pedophilia and men who can't stand a woman who doesn't objectify herself for them into something that is politically correct and less threatening to their fragile desperate solipsism that doesn't even hold. And where it doesn't, and refuses to, these men are willing to even start wars out of sheer narcissistic rage.
Stop trying to please someone who is never going to be pleased by male objectification trying to pretend it's anything other than what it is. The obsession with naked pictures and a mother-whore syndrome resulting from it is screaming through this book and they keep trying to soften it. Meanwhile, artists, specifically women artists, go to art modelling events and draw a sketch admiring the female body without losing control of their bodies and obsessively trying to hide away their need to f*ck that lasts for years. They don't need to look like it, they don't need to fuck it, they don't need to shame it, they don't have hyperobsessions lasting for years; they admire it, they make their sketch, and they move on. This whole book screams artless male subjectivity trying to have an art that brute sexualization will never have, internalized as a pedophilia victim or externalized as an actual male with a pedophilia problem and the narcissistic obsessions with the masturbatory toy being perfect that come with it.
First, most of this is explained by one thing; pathological narcissism. It's not actually about beauty at all, it's about people that fit in with the culture of pathological narcissism and pathological narcissism. I had a good conversation with another female author, a natural beauty in full--literally no money, and she is truly beautiful--and she was often kept from things and hurt and betrayed literally because she was beautiful. People were that jealous of her. Using invitations to control people and using the award of beauty to control is not something I have seen on confident people. My struggles were about my struggles with my abuse at the hands of narcissists, and then narcissists took it literally. Once I started to put it together for myself and exiting the pathological narcissists from my life, the ones that couldn't stand things not being about them, started fixated trying to find the one place where what I did might even potentially be about them because they couldn't stand one thing being about me their envy was that bad, only then was I able to start taking off the makeup. It was psychological, not physical, but not everyone is a gifted healer. Second, when a white woman has a large behind or large lips, that doesn't mean she wants to be black. White women have existed with these features long before black people were very big on the European picture whatsoever, and were still fetishized for it. This is another product of narcissism and not being able to perceive someone unless it has something to do with you.
Club entry or the man paying as a measure of beauty is literal pedophile culture. You're the special one, you're so special so you're going to get sexually assaulted while the other girls your age don't. It is literal pedophile culture. Pedophiles reward children that don't say anything, and control them with the "you're the special one crap", but they say that to all their victims equally. I read several books about narcissism at my college and they all said the same thing; these people cling to youth, and it descends into pedophilia. The obsession with hairlessness is a result of that, to ward it off I highly suggest people keep at least a little hair.
My struggles with makeup were essentially because I was around narcissists who think like this. When I left the narcissists behind, I immediately started healing. I started to ask the question, "Do I really care what this person thinks of me?" when I looked at who they were, nasty, abusive, vain people who did nothing but look a certain way, I realized, no, I didn't. I asked myself if I found myself attractive, and unfortunately, like many other people, I very much did. I internalized the feeling of being deeply loved, by myself first and foremost, and started to get rid of the narcissists in a deep poverty of being loved.
This whole thing was sickening. The vanity is just insane. I have had brushes with this sort of privilege and all I found was a bunch of lunatics competing for things like who would get sexually assaullted first that night. That's not a life. I highly recommend these women and girls who are reading this to study up on narcissism and pedophilia culture in the higher echelons and start putting their self value in things that age well, such as their art, studying, their careers, or their families.
I was cringing this whole book at about the rate of Madeline Pendleton. It stunk of someone with boundary issues and extreme narcissism just like that book.
It's a sorry descent into narcissism and narcissistic rage. I'll try to get through it but all I'm seeing here is someone who fit in well with narcissism culture and did not possess true beauty, which holds onto things that are spiritual, creative, about love--ageless things--first and foremost.
If you're struggling with dysmorphia, in most cases it's the product of deeply engrained narcissistic conditions from a narcissist in your life. Study your trauma. This book just says believe the lie and ignore the root of the underlying trauma. All I can say in the end is not everyone is a gifted healer. If you are a victim of sexual abuse, if you have grown accustomed to people at your schools or in your family isolating you and telling you you're the special one only to do nothing for you actually and try to torture you if you refuse to be compliant with the sexual abuse, that is the scar of sexual abuse. Your suffering comes from there. That's what I wish I could go back in time and say to myself. I thought what my brain was telling me was real because I didn't yet have a gifted healer in my life. This whole book is screaming pedophilia culture and all the extreme narcissists that keep it in place (using young people for self-gratification is considered masturbatory and evidence of narcissism as a facet of pedophilia, as is saying "hide these gifts because other girls will get jealous" or "you're the only one I do xyz to" and then they're doing it to ten people. If you're purposefully being excluded it's "nobody will believe you" by these guys which serves to try to get you to have sex with them again. They are like clockwork. Sometimes the not being included is trying to make the top victim suffer. Amber Heard's story is a good example, people are literally trying to convince her that if she was more beautiful she would have won. What the book did get right there is that is mother-whore syndrome; that when someone is attractive, they must have done something wrong, and are assigned to be a 'prostitute' simply for being attractive, even if they are a teenage or even prepubescent virgin. It's pathetic to see people show one face to the victim, everything they do is wrong, only for it to be a symptom of mother-whore syndrome and in reality behind the scenes they are attracted to them and that's why they're blameworthy. The Amber Heard woman is an extreme beauty, her losing had nothing to do with that, but everything to do with the perpetrator isolating her in a web meant to destroy her self-esteem and break her will; this is a theme commonly seen in pedophilia. This is just not a gifted healer who can't get to the root and believes the lies the trauma brain sold her.)