True Ugliness, Statement on Leaving Goodreads
Statement on Leaving Goodreads
True Ugliness
Terence Tao here reports that he has lost funding two months ago. He said it will affect his summer and his ability to pay his graduates.
https://mathstodon.xyz/@tao/114956840959338146
I have received no respect, reply or communication from this person in regards to several investigations to do with strange and unexplainable behavior by this man to do with my work. I have been living in devastating poverty trying to self support for years. The fact his paths and network cross mine that often while he has retained a position of plausible deniability has grown beyond suspicious a long time ago.
Yet, here he says that UCLA was not able to wage a substantial and intelligible reply in time to the issues about Palestine. I see no sign that he would even be able to do that unless forced to in this way. I believe this is exactly the way he treats individuals covertly, treating them like slaves, giving them nothing, and insidiously trying to involve himself, while keeping a position of plausible deniability where he doesnāt care as long as he gets his, in this case āhisā being the grant. Anybody who follows me closely knows I have been dealing with disproportional and insidious connections to Terence Tao without explanation while I have been undergoing severe financial abuse. I believe my intelligence was used to help him with macro problems without pay or acknowledgment. I believe this is partially involved in the purchase of X for 44B, which immediately showed targeting of my account and fiddling with the functionality immediately just as I am now seeing here where my full form reviews now don't post, and I have to find a workaround of splitting the long form post into 4+ posts, something I normalized on X before my account was targeted and interestingly something that Tao is showing himself as a workaround in this post. It's relatively common, but this is all too weird, especially given surveillance at the Mathnasium I worked at was potentially being sold by the owner and then he films his masterclass around that time and there are disturbing features that suggest potential access to this compromised surveillance (to the point otherwise employees were aggressively complaining about absences to do with the compromised surveillance by the owner my boss at the time but thankfully no more). I believe entrapment procedures were used to create a slavery style procedure and when they didnāt work they just upped the ante trying to entrap instead of basically paying right. I believe multiple social websites shows signs of just this behavior.
He may say his grant is nothing, $200,000, but then why does UCLA suddenly have red tape and Iām pushed off the team right when the āred tapeā passes and I stand to benefit financially for once at the Prison Mathematics Project? Just around that time, UCLA worked its way in right when I was awarded their "token female" position. The volunteer work I did was basically the only reason they got the grant (I wrote the grant proposal and did lots of the communication). But once the UCLA "red tape" lifts, suddenly I move off and don't benefit? Why was I basically in a literal slavery style situation where the people relevant struggled to even pay $200 and ultimately were so impotent they couldnāt even pay that in up to the 5th or 6th direct exposure to Terence Tao at UCLA, with literally no direct communication, plausible deniability tactics, and clear female tokenship happening? It clearly looked like using a token female to get red tape lifted and right when I would receive funds that would liberate myself as this token female and make myself as this token female not as easy to exploit and use, suddenly I'm just off. That was directly from UCLA, with up to five surrounding pathways also from UCLA happening around this time.
If this is correct, this man is being put through what he puts others through. From a design experience perspective, he should know better, see how it feels, and adapt. I don't know if it is or not, I hope it's not, but there are way too many signs here. I'm not a huge fan of Terence's largely because of his list involving Mirzakhani and knowing how that sent incels her way that probably taxed her body into its horrifically early demise, but he does share how he solves problems and he does seem to wish the best for the comprehension as intelligence poverty here and honestly anybody who helps competently with that has at least some portion of appreciation from me. So I am enough of a fan that I don't want this to be true. But there really are too many signs that I can't look away from. And it's not the first time as a female fan I'm just bulldozed by the man's misogyny, as fans of Julian Assange are often similarly failed. These are public figures that are well recognized and funded. Then breast size or beauty is being selected for, highlighted or fetishized, just letting down all the women that looked to them previously for support and leadership in fighting out this intelligence poverty that is killing everyone. Itās just inexcusable.
The occurrences of books on Palestine magically being disappeared and destroyed just as I read them seems way too similar to the reasons he lost his grant. Combined with his strange proximity, this seems really suspicious. I support Palestine in its voicing itself against genocide at UCLA and am thoroughly against suppressive and repressive structures where comprehension should be. These are not sustainable forms of comprehension, and if labor trafficking is required because the comprehension is based on suppressive and repressive structures instead of free and expressive comprehension, then that is essentially a form of fraud and the intelligence that is artificial is on the person exploiting someone who really possesses that intelligence. Basically, extractive informational labor trafficking, which fits the profile of what happened to me on X, Reddit, Quora and others is āartificial intelligenceā insofar as the intelligence is fraudulent and extractive only. āEchoicā is another word we use to describe this phenomenon.
In either case, I agree this situation will not get better until people learn to pay the full price.
But it will also not get better under suppressive and repressive structures that possess no real comprehension and fail to respond in time and simply wonāt respond unless pushed to. Individuals such as Tao show they are happy to watch literal genocide when Palestine is clearly trying to get oxygen that desperately on a university campuses. They are targeting universities for these protests because they are considered the bastion of intelligence. Instead we are seeing these individuals happy to not respond as long as they āget theirsā, in this case a 200k grant. So taking away the grant is making them feel the principles of their design that aren't sustainable, essentially forcing empathy by making them feel the obvious that shouldn't have to have its empathy forced when they show up in those numbers to that degree on a university campus. Really, you should not be struggling with the gravity of that situation being that obvious there. I do not understand how a mathematician would see this and not look into the sustainable design features of his own behavior that are not creating sustainable results in the world; namely, a literal logical application of "treat others how you want to be treated" naturally and secularly showing it has logical rigor to it as well. I don't see how he would not naturally ask himself; "where am I applying this principle that clearly doesn't work so as to not have it served upon me by precedent? How can I see that and yet be a mathematician except for having an echoic, non-representational and naive understanding? That is terrifying given he's a Field's medalist. It doesn't make sense to me that he would struggle with looking for those principles in his treatment to others and rooting them out to avoid precedent as a mathematician other than fraud. You would have to be blind to not see the struggle to get even basic oxygen in these protests.
The university if it wants to retain its position as a bastion of guiding intelligence in the world absolutely has to provide this oxygen to people clearly that desperate for it. That means (a) publication without interference at the creation or publication access points, (b) freedom from invasive AI or corrupt publication pipelines that were deliberately modeled to be like gas pipelines so exploitative in their data were they at the inception point (these pipelines by the way deliberately meant to disregard those who most are relevant to them from a sovereignty perspective, like the users of Google or Coursera themselves, just like Ukraine was treated in Nord Stream 2, and just like Poland was treated in Nord Stream 1) Ā© right to protest, (d) right to be responded to in a timely and intelligent way, and (e) other high comprehension low repression behaviors that are absolutely demanded out of anything and anybody with any real intelligence. This means the absence of artificial/echoic intelligence, especially anywhere where education with its sensemaking/sensebuilding/comprehension building purposes is allegedly happening.
If being treated how you were treated shows a painful design that is not sustainable, you should immediately look at the logic of your design for its unsustainable features; this space specifically here being faulty at the points of exploitation, echoic extraction, and repression structures where functioning and responsive communicability structures should be along the comprehension path.
In either case, I have been on this website 3 weeks and it is already fiddling with itself. It is already fiddling with the infrastructure and functionality in ways that weren't present when I first started that are intended to silence and force workarounds that lower, not increase, intelligence and normalize, not challenge, attention deficits that have led to the poverty of intelligence and poverty of comprehension epidemic in the United States. That is a sign of intellectual disability.
Like X, Reddit, and Facebook Goodreads is collapsing even faster than they are into fiddling with the functionality. This is usually a sign of intellectual disabiltiy; an inability to stop fiddling with yourself, especially in ways that immediately affect other people such as a platform functionality. The need to feel control or the need to have suffering attended to is not something anybody is entitlted to if it includes domestic violence or caregiver financial abuse elements.
I once was a caregiver, even though now I am a math teacher, CEO, and researcher. The client was particularly interested in me but started making unsustainable demands that were unpaid. Upon being told no, she screamed and started saying she hated me. I quit. The woman who replaced her had obviously been abused and underpaid in just this way for years, was brusque with her but still did a fantastic job. She apologized to me that this person had financially abused me and said she hated me, and understood why she now had to put in all those more hours again when I had taken much of the burden of caregiving work off of her. However, she needed the money more than I did; she had about the same risk of domestic violence, plus children. However, she was brusque and impatient due to the longstanding financial and verbal abuse by the receipient of caregiving. The receipient later died in about two years, probably much shorter than would have happened with the warmer care she was demanding, trying to force and torture into happening without pay.
This exactly resembles this pattern. This is demanding without paying and trying to create entrapment, pulling the carpet out from under others, trafficking and exploitation of observation/surveillance structures to actualize this. Especially my encounter with X and the failure to allow me to block on Reddit shows all the sames signs of profound intellectual disability that canāt stop fiddling with its functionality, something specifically symptomatic of the intellectual disabled population, attempting to demand caregiving without comprehending the financial design of that nor being able to. It also shows that cruelty and intellectual disability intersect; if you see torture or cruelty, like the Bush administration, you can be reasonably certain thereās an ongoing intelligence issue there. That exactly fits this profile. Financial and recognition abuse of this extent is congruent with this finding of an intelligence issue that is profound.
In either case, only 3 weeks in the AWS Bezos heavy Goodreads infrastructure that canāt even get the correct CEO listed, never loudly or publicly listed it had a female Veronica Moss, and canāt even get its current CEO (Libby Roin) listed on Wikipedia, has already started fiddling with its functionality. This is a sign of profound intellectual disability. I came to this social media website to escape from that. It shows how misogyny and intellectual disability often intersect, as do repression and suppressive communicative structures. I don't think anybody but a narcissist or someone with similarly profoundly stunted emotional intelligence would have a problem with a person in an emergency not producing things perfectly, but instead focusing on getting responses out that carried the critical information out in time.
Attempting to make it so my long form reviews donāt post in full forced a āslide 1/slide 2/ slide 3ā work around. The entrapment and ongoing disrespect is part of the failure to learn that characterizes intellectual disability. Itās also just comparative infertility; no natural understanding of the situation is conducive. Statistically, thatās ugliness. This is true ugliness. Torture, cruelty, nastiness like this; itās true ugliness. And itās intersecting with failure to learn of the intellectual disability. That is exactly how that client treated me and she was dead within about two years after I passed her back to her original caregiver who really did not have enough help to support that person long term under no fault of her own.
This reminds me of that given I tried to go offline due to repeatedly experiencing the same phenomenon seeing these websites did not have the prerequisite intelligence to carry me and support me without constant collapse, only for my leaving to suffer extreme harassment trying to push me back on because that was clearly some of the best help they were getting and things had started really crashing and burning by then. This is essentially therefore extreme caregiver abuse. My peer agreed I had every right to quit and the patient died in about two years through no fault of her own. I had observed her work, she did a fantastic job while having that large of a family at risk of that level of domestic violence herself. Her work was excellent, the patient was clean, responded to, medicated on time and fed. She just wasn't getting the warmth she wanted and could not demand being that abusive. My peer agreed with me and her passing was not through any fault of her own given that she did indeed start saying she hated me and making demands she did nothing to financially support nor could I keep giving from sheerly voluntary energy given the domestic violence I was myself going through at that time that clearly needed financial stabilization. We were in the Trump presidency if there are any questions about why it was so destabilized, and now here we are again. It shows all the signs of extreme caregiver abuse. She passed early through no fault of anybody's; my peer was doing the best work logistically I had ever seen. She just wasn't giving the extra because frankly the person didn't deserve it.
In either case, due to failure to stop fiddling with the functionality already after only being responsive 3 weeks am, I am moving off back to Bear Blog where I do my research and bsky which has a public and obvious female CEO. Bezos, AWS, and the leadership here doesnāt even basically have it when I literally selected this for being a books website where long form and literacy ARE, otherwise when Bezos free, the number one way to grow intelligence. Not enabling atrophied attention.
It happened again, and this time faster than the others after an AWS attack. I then wake up and suddenly Googleās wised up to whoās the CEO after this attack. It was a man. This is true ugliness.
We couldnāt afford the misogyny of Kamala Harris being sabotaged. Terence Taoās grant is collateral damage to everybody who looks up to him and admires him. We could not afford this misogyny thinking āweāll just make it work with Trump, sell Google, sell Facebookā like Pichai (Google) and Zuckerberg (Facebook) did. None of us can. This is true narcissism. Narcissism is the root cause. Misogyny is male privileging narcissism. None of us could have afforded that. Tao literally, SP, Zuckerberg, etc. For someone who is a famous mathematician, better calculations need to be made in the future. He literally couldn't afford it. Everybody who is or at least was his fan is suffering with him now due to how little we could afford to undermine Harris on compulsive misogyny alone.
Further Note
I also woke up to spatial directives being used to check if people arenāt a robot. There is extensive content on how this is used to covertly brainwash people in pathetic ways where they think thereās no guard for someone watching. Itās just exploitative and opportunistic. The idea is that if you canāt take directives or canāt accept a womanās heel isnāt part of the group, youāre not intelligent enough to be on the platform. Thatās a no. The stunted homophilia so sure it has the right position without examining the principles of the counterargument is a sign of intellectual disability in its own right; it has atrophied ability to recognize things that arenāt sufficiently similar to it. Thatās on the lower end. Most homophilia combined with cognitive rigidity is on the lower end, plus self-certainty that they have the right position despite it showing clear signs of stunted homophilia makes it even worse from an intelligence deficit perspective. Itās just a nightmare. They think theyāre slick. Palestine and other movements are constantly clocking them. And. Theyāre. Still. Trying. It truly shows all the signs of intellectual disability.
This shows how tech is not impersonal but is instead being abused to have conversations where no conversation is present. It shows theyāre not willing to accept a no when I completely deplatformed from Google due to just these abuses, as well as abusing AI to read peopleās content under an āAI researchā cover. They made it so there was no way to remove the AI, just like Coursera. It was truly rapey. The same thing found on Amazon. Did it ever occur to you that people donāt want you on their content while it is being created? I was met with disturbing and repulsive arguments like, āThe father has a right to the gestational processā like writing is gestation when anybody of any gender can be involved with it and like they were trying to work in an illegal CRISPR argument as well. This is pushing past the obvious discourse of whether this person would have sex and reproduce with the individual to begin with, showing that technological violation does indeed have a subconscious sexual violence and violation element that we do need to discuss if it naturally goes down these directions while earlier everyone was claiming how "impersonal" it was. Iām not kidding. Those are the arguments I was met with. None of these people that are that disgusting would even get that far, and that is nature hard at work for precisely that behavior. You want nature to do better for you, change your behavior. Thatās not genocide. What Palestine is going through is genocide. You have an equal ability to communicate to your other āpotential partnersā, you just do terrible work with your exposure while they do ten times better. Palestine literally canāt speak with communication and fundraising and publication being chokeholded. Thatās a real genocide, this incel crap is not. In either case the attempt to gender it and make it about gestation sincerely made me want to vomit.
In either case, I am moving to Bear Blog for long term research and blue sky for social due to only 3 weeks in after I was live again after trying to lose all this crap but after being told it was an emergency them to start fiddling with the functinoality all over again. This shows a sovereignty violation and power and control again. Your need to feel in control is not going to get met if you are violating the sovereignty of others. It can be factored in if it is just about you, like talking a patient through what communication is happening around them, but it does not include surveillance and observational abuse or coercive control. That is now domestic violence because it now includes a sovereignty violation. Reading any basically decent book on Palestine would have taught you the critical feature of the sovereignty question well before I did.
I have been literally vomiting with only psychological symptoms detectable. My body is literally trying to repulse what psychologically refuses to accept itās a no. Thatās why people vomit during r*pe. It has. To. Stop. Once itās in the body, itās torture. Only an aggressive incel would violently torture someone for saying no. Those are the least sexually successful people in the world, of their own fault given the equal chance to communicate their position. Itās not a genocide. Whatās happening to people chokeholded financially and communicatively is.
Theyāve already started fiddling with the functionality. Iāve only seen that on the intellectually disabled and the pedophile. Itās a no. I came on this for the opposite, intelligence. Instead Iām getting record time flunk on just this point.
They donāt have it. Iām moving somewhere else because of that. Iāve only seen this level of fiddling and not having it on pedophiles honestly, who have a medically diagnosable inability to control.
I am about 3 weeks in to using Goodreads as a high response tool given I was literally harassed and pushed out of where I was trying to go offline due to the emergency crashing and burning that started about the 3rd week of August.
In fact, Google is listing Libby Roin as Goodread's CEO with next to nothing coming up when you search for Veronica Moss. This post in 2019 clearly states Veronica Moss is the CEO, and nothing can be found about what happened to her. In fact, the Wikipedia article doesnāt even list the CEO as Libby Roin anywhere. Nor does it list Veronica Moss. There is no explanation from what I can see that happened to her, and if there is, it is being deliberately occluded from my ability to view it by Google to discredit, demean, and abuse just like inappropriate comments about the selection of /zeronarcissists as my research redditās name were found in the Google AI results that had nothing to do with directing to the Reddit, but everything to do with passing comments.
Repeat: Again and agan this shows how tech is not impersonal but is being abused to have conversations where no conversation is present. It shows theyāre not willing to accept a no when I completely deplatformed from Google due to just these abuses, as well as abusing AI to read peopleās content under a āAI researchā cover. They made it so there was no way to remove the AI, just like Coursera. It was truly rapey. The same thing found on Amazon. Did it ever occur to you that people donāt want you on their content while it is being created? I was met with disturbing and repulsive arguments like, āThe father has a right to the gestational processā like writing is gestation when anybody of any gender can be involved with it and if they were trying to work in an illegal CRISPR argument as well, much less if this person would have sex and reproduce with the individual to begin with. Iām not kidding. Those are the arguments I was met with. None of these people that are that disgusting would even get that far, and that is nature hard at work for precisely that behavior. You want nature to do better for you, change your behavior. Thatās not genocide. What Palestine is going through is genocide. You have an equal ability to communicate to your other āpotential partnersā, you just do terrible work with your exposure while they do ten times better. Palestine literally canāt speak with communication and fundraising and publication being chokeholded. Thatās a real genocide, this incel crap is not. In either case the attempt to gender it and make it about gestation sincerely made me want to vomit. I have been literally vomiting. My body is literally trying to repulse what psychologically refuses to accept itās a no. Thatās why people vomit during r*pe. It has. To. Stop. Once itās in the body, itās torture. Only an aggressive incel would violently torture someone for saying no. Those are the least sexually successful people in the world, of their own fault given the equal chance to communicate their position. Itās not a genocide. Whatās happening to people chokeholded financially and communicatively is.
Theyāve already started fiddling with the functionality.
Iāve only seen that on the intellectually disabled and the pedophile.
Itās a no.
I came on this platform Goodreads for the opposite, intelligence, given it is supposed to literally exist to preserve and discuss the long form.
Instead Iām getting record time flunk on just this point with it immediately forcing me into enabling atrophied intelligence through forcing me to do the multiple slides/post workaround in record time, 3 weeks. Reddit showed signs about 2 months in, X showed signs about the same time, this is literally about 3 weeks of increased responsiveness. That's a record low. This is supposed to be a website for long form. It should, at the very least, take a longer time to essentially narcissistically collapse into fiddling with the functionality. This is horrifying. I'm moving off as specified. One is long form, the other is a female CEO publicly and easily acknowledged without a huge and embarrassing struggle.