Why I hate you and you hate me: The interplay of envy, greed, jealousy and narcissism in everyday life, Part 3

16 Sep, 2025

Link: https://www.routledge.com/Why-I-Hate-You-and-You-Hate-Me-The-Interplay-of-Envy-Greed-Jealousy-and-Narcissism-in-Everyday-Life/HBerke/p/book/9781780490328?srsltid=AfmBOoqcHZKKfbJweOMQdlRjZBLQBZkP27n03nKNk5OQh7C6KeMXOMNI

Citation: Berke, J. H. (2018). Why I hate you and you hate me: The interplay of envy, greed, jealousy and narcissism in everyday life. Routledge.

Full disclaimer on the unwanted presence of AI codependency cathartics/ AI inferiorists as a particularly aggressive and disturbed subsection of the narcissist population: https://narcissismresearch.miraheze.org/wiki/AIReactiveCodependencyRageDisclaimer

High hate and low love children may hoard hurts like nuts to take revenge on later.

Children with the opposite, low hate and high love, may seem comparatively oblivious to how drastic of action the high hate/low love children are capable of taking and are actively taking.

The high hate/low love child may be doing the most unbelievable, hyperfixated, predatory and insidious things on the back end or under cover that would be truly horrific and catastrophic to the victim to have revealed.

The envy-riddled attempts to denigrate, betray, and take the positive regard from the pathologically envied child speaks for itself about an unnatural, malicious motive.

It is possible hormonal imbalances or other features may be at the root of such aggressive expressions of zero sum, scarcity-based depression, especially in terms of testosterone and estrogen where the testerone-heavy tend to be more inclined toward tech and means of appropriation and dataraid than the more majorly estrogen individual.

Those higher in estrogen tend to be more mellow and less inclined to aggression, with estrogen sometimes even being the prescribed remedy for excessive levels of extreme, unbelievable envy and aggression especially surrounding the compulsive, appropriative, and violating use of tech.

These estrogen-testosterone systems must be remembered to be in a system, with more surrounding testosterone incentivizing more surrounding testosterone, etc.

They are not objective realities of individual bodies, they are often deeply social realities as any “cycle syncing” phenomenon will attest.

Individuals who violate, appropriate and do not get consent tend to be enabled by other high testosterone individuals with the same struggles often destroying the local estrogen levels in the process, ironically with high uterine testosterone one of the precipitating causes of autism. Nature gets its revenge for acts of sexual violence and disrespect of estrogen, with many individuals who struggle with autism stating explicit resentment of the developmental disorder.

“Some children have a remarkable ability to brush off hurts and seek out support from the larger family or social circle. Others have a low hate/high love/high stimulation threshold. They hoard hurts like squirrels hoard garner nuts, yet seem oblivious to the ordinary with high love/low hate capacities. The latter may be lucky and have parents who notice their needs and respond accordingly. If not trivial events will seem like terrible misdeeds, and the resulting resentments will turn their parents and siblings into persecutors, the focus of fights both int he outside world and psychic spheres, for years to come.”

Absurdity in regards to the presence of envy and rivalry is seen with Jews and Palestinians having more in common genetically than most outside of the conflict, and sharing many names and customs, yet still acting like the most genetically separate.

Even in the ancestry portion of the conflict, Abraham and Isaac as the reason (allegedly) for the warring between the Jews and the Arabs, the two warring brothers reconciled yet the conflict continued on well after this had happened.

“The Bible indicates that Ishmael was reconciled with Abraham, and Isaac, at the time of their father’s death, although the descendants of thee two bothers, the Jews and Arabs remain antagonists. It is not inconceivable that their feuds continue to reflect the bitter hatreds that passed between their respective mothers some thousands of years ago. Indeed, many Jews and Palestinians share DNA sequences as well as names and customs (Shamah, 2009).

Labor depreciation, up to and including literal slavery, is infamously described in Cinderella with the similarly infamous motive, sexual jealousy at the root. They literally didn’t pay her because they were sexually jealous of her.

This is similar to findings on domestic service and slavery attempts within it.

Often there is no real threat of sexual rivalry whatsoever outside of people the jealous individual has no entitlement or access to.

“But maturation and morality have added complications. Cinderella is not quite a woman. She has to battle her own reluctance to come of age as well as bad-tempered, evil siblings. Yet there are good reasons for her sisters to feel threatened. Cinderella is an unrealised, yet real sexual threat. But she also embodies purity, virginity, and virtue.”

Even just seeing someone attractive can fill an envy-prone individual with vicious, if not lethal, energy. In the headline “Co-Ed Chopped In Envy” the chopping and hacking act became less covert and insidious and became the overt act of one in profound, violent jealousy at what they described as the individual’s superior attractiveness.

This is unbelievable but one must reconcile to the facts, especially disturbing when one must reconcile to them in grown adult women.

“Even now, fears of a malicious look, also known as the ‘evil eye’, are not necessarily misplaced. In real life losers’ reprisals frequently surpass the sisterly viciousness of Grimms’ characters. In 1959 American headlines screamed, “Co-Ed Chopped in Envy”, after an attractive twenty-year-old college student had been butchered with an ax. The culprit was her former room-mate, a plain, chubby girl who apparently was filled with fury at the sight of her prettier friend (Schoeck, op.cit).”

The idea that women always compete with each other to prove they are women and achieve recognition at the side of men is false. “Standing by your man” and only being as good as one’s marriage is by no means the only logic of femininity across the globe. In fact, one group of female geniuses and one individual female genius, the Bronte sisters and Simone De Beauvoir respectively, showed opposite behavior.

Simone De Beauvoir’s heterosexual relationship with Sartre was notoriously one of the strongest and most stable marked with only incidental petulant features, while she still clearly prioritized the female-female bond in her interactional logic. She is hailed as one of the most high caliber philosophers today, only sharing the evaluation of top of her class at the Sorbonne with Sartre himself. Both were deeply beloved and grieved by France upon their passing. They had no struggles with not undermining or disrespecting each other, with the exception of some problematic mentoring situations which they were relatively answerable to.

Many instances occur of women naturally preferring and willing to sacrifice male companionship to maintain their connectedness to the women in their lives if it means sacrificing these connections instead. It is not all natural or normal for women to fight and hen peck each other for men; many don’t view this as even remotely valuable compared to female companionship.

It is even suggested Simone De Beauvoir took Sartre as her partner because he did the least damage to her existing female relationships so important were they to her; he was very nurturing and supportive of her female connections.

“Cinderella had to fight both her mother and her sisters, although each of the protagonist had her own axe to grind. These included the prospect of remaining an ash girl as well as fears of reverting from a princess (or queen) to a dirty, debased, unloved, and unwanted woman. As for the grandmothers, they were appalled that their opposite number might predominate. For them relegation to the scrap heaps was the same as death. The Cinderella scenario presumes a triangular relationship where one side is a woman who needs to possess a man to ward off rivals to confirm her female identity. However, many women describe a different triangle where their most compelling concern is to maintain close, supportive bonds. Indeed, the opposite of sibling rivalry is sibling closeness and cooperation. It is not uncommon for them to form an alliance with each other that lasts throughout their lives. Dale and Lynne Spender, who were both trained as teachers and eventually became writers, have described this outcome.”

Resentment of men who split apart female friendships is something I have personally witnessed in my own female friendships. This is a relatively common phenomenon, well against what we are supposed to believe about “standing by our man” and putting the heterosexual marriage first as somehow in a zero sum.

“In these relationships the greatest threat comes from the feared loss of a sister or a sisterly companion. Brigid McConville cites an informant, a thirty-two-year-old woman with two sisters: “I get very jealous when some man goes off with a woman ‘best friend’ of mine. Because I feel that woman is an almost sister, and I don’t want to lose her” (1985, p.48).

In a misogynist world that obeys magical thinking about genitals, penis envy may be the result of an individual witnessing just how much better they would have been treated if they had this magically apprehended appendage.

However, as humanity matures, increasing admissions and detections that it is just that, magical thinking, are seen such as where it is here described as the “over-invested organ”, another being described that it “lost its magic to cajole attention and aggrandize love” like the wand of misogyny itself as wielded in a male-prioritizing misogynist culture.

“To the dethroned child, the over-invested organ may seem identical to both the intruder and the absent object, that is love, loveableness, warmth, nourishment, fullness, and that which feels.”

“But the displaced brother often feels no less unfairly treated. True, he can look down and see he has a penis, yet from his point of view he has a less useful member, one that has lost its magic to cajole attention and aggrandize love.”

Male on male, brother on brother relations can have a more violent feature, often being described in very disturbing Tom and Jerry or “war is the force that gives us meaning” descriptions. Some of them may even buy the public opinion just to be more in dad’s eye than the brother. Involving the whole world in this brother on brother rivalry is definitely an issue.

“The resultant rivalries, over strength, stamina, virility, authority, prowess, and power, among a multitude of overtly phallic preoccupations, tend to take on a life of their own. Nonetheless, original objectives, pride of place, and parental esteem will never be completely obscured. They often emerge later in life through the strivings of men who meet, and sometimes buy, the public eye.”

Self-harm and also externalized expressions of sharp sticking of objects and other paraphernalia by the mentally disturbed were the signature of the painfully and deeply envious, to the point of concern. The individual described was no older than fifty-eight expressing these sentiments.

“The same is true for others. In referring to himself, the photographer Cecil Beaton explained the difficulty. Fame and fortune do not bring contentment: all that happens is that other talented, accomplished people intrude into one’s life, and it becomes harder to avoid being overshadowed. At the age of fifty-eight BEaton made a long list of artists he envied. These included Graham Sutherland, John Betjeman, Noel Coward, John Osborne, Lawrence Olivier, and Truman Capote. And after reading an article by Evelyn Waugh, he delighted in thoughts of: “...gouging out his eyes with a pencil, then his nose and mouth and finally destroying his whole head before getting gleefully into my bath (Vickers, 1985, p. 454)”

The attempt to ruin a colleague’s career is also an expression of profound envy.

Even where Bill Clinton’s political and sports rival had legitimate criticisms including a womanizing feature, an ongoing intense rivalry riddled with narcissism marked both sides.

The equation here of equating politics to sports and moral if not actual beauty contests, instead of thinking of the welfare of the nation, is not an uncommon feature of politicians but it really has to stop in the era of a United States President threatening to kidnap and terrorize powerful women in politics, to the point he has even started attacking people not even remotely involved in the political scene out of a sheer testosterone gone wild effect (with the shirtless gym junkie MAGA-capped ads to match).

The competition has reached severe mental illness, peak absurdity levels, to some degree on both sides in the age of Bob Ferguson who was willing to turn on his own support and call them pro-Trump when they didn’t immediately and profoundly agree with him like an immune process that went too hard and can’t calm back down again.

“Although the scenario is not uncommon, it is remarkable that a similar theme and variation has been played out by another Southern boy made good, Bill Clinton, president of the United States during the 1990s. His nemesis was not a blood brother, rather a boy from an almost identical poor, rural Arkansas background, Cliff Jackson. They met when they were students at Oxford University during the Sixties. A mutual friend noted that: “...when Bill was in the room he was the center of attention, (but) Cliff was a maverick, a sort of scratchy, prickly person [who] didn’t have the acumen to make people feel comfortable” (Blumenfeld, 1993, pg. 1) Both men were fiercely competitive, from sports to politics. But Bill prospered, and Cliff did not, so the latter man has spent much of his life trying to run his formal rival down. In that he has come close to success. Jackson was responsible for tipping off reporters about the president’s draft record, about his obsession with women, and deception and corruption. Like Billy carter, his revenge has been to ruin, or at least attempt to ruin a colleague’s career (ibid., p.1)”

Narcissism when in its envious instantiation can reach peak pathetic levels, with the narcissism of Rudolph Dassler’s interpreting Adi Dassler’s “here come the bloody bastards again” to the sound of allied bombs as somehow about him, to the point he had a huge split with him that resulted in a decades long war with two rival companies out of sheer mental illness by Rudolph Dassler and his attendant narcissism from which the envy was borne.

It only ended in 2009 after a night in 1943.

This is very much a brother-brother type rivalry.

“The brothers set up two rival companies, now famous brands, on the opposite sides of a river that ran through the small Bavarian town of Herzogenaurach.”

“The strife lasted for decades, even after the brothers died. It only ended in 2009 when the chief executives of these two global companies decided to make peace (Mackey, 2009).

Humiliation and annihilation are the aims of the envious narcissist attacking their envied rival. Many report a disturbing and oftentimes very illegal humiliation feature.

“On the other hand, fraternal jealousies are triangular events. Here the object is love, rather than envy of power or privilege. But the aim is the same: to humiliate and annihilate the rival.”

It seems there is a toxic male tendency to learn about oneself and grow one’s skills by vicious, hateful competition with each other that is normalized and seen as par for the course.

In the modern age where those who want nothing to do with it are caught in the crosshairs of this testosterone gone wild, individuals are sincerely encouraged to keep it to games and other compartmentalized features, and not to try to colonize reality with these principles that do not in anyway match the environmental sociological features of things like diplomacy and other delicate, fined tuned features that are incongruous with aggressive, at-a-distance games.

That said, there is a clear “chucky toddler” effect on Putin’s forces, attacking forces for just supporting Ukraine in a way that isn’t even congruous with many independence-heavy Russian development features that emphasize cutting the cord and taking in pride in having done so, even encouraging that it been done early. Under such conditions, safety obviously critically matters under such an unbelievably excessive and aggressive attack that suggests through attacking the allies that Putin or at least those Putin adjacent wants there to be a world war, and potentially to die in its blaze of glory. This desire is incredibly selfish and should not be enabled if it's true nor should people say it’s fine as long as they “get rich”. For the victims caught in the crosshairs, that is unforgivable.

“Otherwise the point is not to capture a woman or dispose of a rival, but to establish fraternal closeness. The psychoanalyst Robert Robertiello describes a “glorious phantasy”, “of going down on the guy who’d stolen a woman from him”. The greatest threat is not rivalry but the lack of rivalry, not the presence, but the absence of fraternal figures against whom one can measure or discover oneself. Anything less seems unfair.”